On My Way…in First Class Comfort

Airplane window view from 35000 feet

A view from 35000 feet

As I sit in the first class lounge of American Airlines at O’Hare Airport a few things occur to me.

1) Who the hell is shopping in these airport stores. Now, don’t get me wrong, I can understand shopping at one of the 1000 or so Hudson News that I passed in the various terminals. I can understand a business man getting his shoes shined. Maybe, maybe I can understand stopping in for a quick neck or back massage. But who the hell comes to the airport and stops into Brooks Brothers to buy a suit? And who is buying jewelry from the jewelry store? These stores are opened in high-profile locations and staffed by numerous people. Does anyone shop there?!

2) Why am I no longer allowed to smoke on airplanes? Billions of people smoke on this planet. Hell, I pay to smoke. Out of Christian kindness I am willing to let other people breathe the smoke that I exhale and, again, paid good money for. The fascists that run the airline industry have decided otherwise. Not only that, though, they have also eliminated the smoking areas inside the airport. So, now I have to exit security and, when I am finished with my delicious, adult pleasure, suffer the indignity of going through the security line again. Of course, I made the sacrifice and, for the first time, went through the full-body X-ray machine. So, the one thing that is certain, is that the Chicago TSA has seen my genitals.

3) Those who know me know that my politics run to the radical side. I don’t like divisions in society. I’m not the 1%. That being said, I am enjoying the hell out of the first class lounge. I was greeted by two lovely ladies upon entering who verified my credentials (and keep the riffraff out). They pointed me towards the buffet full of delicious fresh fruit, sandwiches and various other noshes. I’ve helped myself several times. Of course, because we aren’t savages, there is a full bar of premium liquor, beers, and wines. I’m sipping on a lovely gin and tonic as I type. So, while I think a classless society is something we all should strive for, as long as I’m allowed in the first class lounge, I’m okay with it not being here just yet.

4) Why is there an endless loop of music from Glee playing?

One Comment on “On My Way…in First Class Comfort

  1. Pingback: Illogical Airports and Free Booze

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